How Old Are You?

The chorus of the classic song, Forever Young, by Jay-Z and Mr Hudson begins with the line, “Forever young, I wanna be forever young, do you really want to live forever? Forever and ever…” Yes, ageing is inevitable, but those words seduce nonetheless.

Even as being forever young builds a bubble around you, a simple question such as ‘How old are you?’ bursts it. This short question ranks up there in the list of most inconvenient questions in the world. Doubt me? Walk up to most ladies and politely inquire, “How old are you?”[1] I tried this with the two most important women in my life – my wife, Gift, and my mother – and in both cases it was obvious familiarity did not make it a less convenient question to answer. Of course, I already knew their ages, which made it all the more stranger that it came to them as an intrusion.

·        How are you? Piece of cake.

·        Are you hungry? No biggy.

·        Where do you live? If you are not a sociopath I’ll tell you.

·        What’s the time? What is my wrist watch for?

·        What’s your favorite color? Green.

·        Who is your best friend? Gift.

·        How old are you? Hold up! Why do you ask?

See what I mean?

There is something that makes ‘How old are you’ feel way too intrusive. But, would you blame anyone for taking a pause before saying how old they are? Who would want to make such private information available for public consumption? You can get qualified or disqualified from a job because of your age. You can be perceived as too old or too young for some social circles. You definitely won’t get selected into some sports if you are above a certain age. Beating this gave birth to or legendary Football Age[2] in Nigeria.

"You can see your experiences–the good, the bad, and yes, the ugly–as the different strokes of the brush that creates the masterpiece called you."

Let’s take this a little further. Imagine if the very first words you hear from the lips of a stranger are how old are you? Unthinkable? Well, those were the exact (and only recorded) words that Pharaoh spoke to Jacob when the duo met. Genesis 47:8 reads: “Pharaoh said to Jacob, ‘How old are you?’” Jacob’s response to this Legendary Question was no less legendary: “I have traveled this earth for 130 hard years. But my life has been short compared to the lives of my ancestors,” (NLT). Jacob basically said, one: I’ve been on a 130-year journey; two: it has been difficult and three: my journey has not been as long as that of my fathers.

And there, within those words, are the reasons telling our age is intrusive:

One: Our life experience is often like a person on a journey.

Two: Through our unique experiences, we often consider life as being tough on us.

Three: We compare our journey with that of others.

No one wants to be vulnerable at this level. Our age reminds us of the progress (or not) that we have made in our life journey. No one wants to feel that his tough journey shows on his face. Lastly, no one wants to compare his life other people he considers far more successful.

And, you don’t have to. Although the picturesque “life like a video” Jay-Z rapped about is literally impossible in this life, you can live your life being thankful for every single hour you have lived so far. You can see your experiences–the good, the bad, and yes, the ugly–as the different strokes of the brush that creates the masterpiece called you. One stroke off and you aren’t you anymore. Lastly, you can appreciate the lives of others without comparing with yours because, after it is all said and done, in broken inglish, no bi mi and you com dis world!

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[1] I know this affects us men too. It is just a wild guess that ladies are more susceptible to it.

[2] If you are Nigerian you know what I mean. If you are not, forget I made this irrelevant point.